The black love
by l-vingphai
Summary: Cleitus is in love Hephaistion is in pain Alexander is always a king. What can I say, Cleitus became a hero where Alexander turn into a jealous man.
1. Chapter 1

**Title: The Black love**

**Pairing: Cleitus/Hephaistion/Alexander**

**Summary: Cleitus is in love/ Hephaistion is in pain/ Alexander is always a king. What can I say, Cleitus became a hero where Alexander turn into a jealous man.**

**Author notes: This story based on scene from Alexander movie of Oliver Stone and interpreted in the way that I wanted. My English is not good (it is not my first language), so I apologized for all mistake.**

**You may hate the story and hate what I wrote but I love Cleitus and I am the writer so Cleitus will be my hero in this story..hee hee..**

**Warning: Little intimacy love scene in Ch.3,4. To be safe I think it probably in PG 13.**

**/ nothing related to the story, just a prologue that i put on every beggining of each chapter**

---------------------------------------------------

Ch.1 First encounter

_/His love was both protective and possessive. As a father who was always protect his dearest son and as a lover who jealoused even to a cloak rope which is hanging and touching his lover's thigh. /_

"Hephaistion troop'll be here just on time for the full moon banquet" A voice from pages gathered in front of dinning hall stoped Clietus before he entered. It'd been a while he never heard of Hephaistion name. The young man was assigned by Alexander to appoint a new king to the city of Sidon. It was Hephaistion's major assignment in the court which absented him from Alexander side for the first time. His heart was beating as a drum and his body was jerking. He could not count how many nights he dreamed of a young tall boy who now became a man. Beautiful blue eyes on an oval perfect face haunted Cleitus for so many years.

He remembered the day he first met a boy vividly as yesterday. He went to visit Alexander at Mieza where Philip's son and children of a noble man of Macedonion studying with the great philosopher Aristotle. After he caged his horse and walked his way through the entrance, he heard a fiery noise shouted from the right corner of the buildings.

"If you want to grow up and become a Macedonion man you have to learn how to kiss as a man."

This stopped him from entering the buildings and walked back toward a noise.

"I'll learn it but not with your bad mouth" another boy shouted back daringly.

He heard some punching and battling sound before he quickens his steps. At the dark corner shadowed by a big oak tree, he saw 3 teenagers pinned a small boy to the wall where a boy tried to kick and smack bigger mans fiercefully. The boy's eye were glister and fierce as a wild animal. He didn't seem to be afraid of what was in front of him. Even though his struggle toward 3 bigger mans seemed to be in vain. The tall man who Cleitus remembered as Philotas, a young son of a great general Parmenion, standed in the middle and bowed down try to claim a young boy mouth.

He heard another man said "Stop kicking like a wild horse, just one little kiss is not gonna taint your beautiful mouth"

Before Parmenion's son succeeded his kiss to a small boy, Cleitus grabbed his arm and pushed him on the ground. Other boys turned to Cleitus and seemed to remember who he was then let go of a small boy's hand and ran away. Philotas who was on the ground threw anger look toward Cleitus and when a young man was climb up on his feet. He yelled to Cleitus

"Why don't you go and mess with your king and leave me with mine"

Cleitus stared fiercely back. A younger man knew Cleitus, he didn't want to fight with a man with this size. Even compare to a grown man, Cleitus seemed to be very big man with thick muscle. Also, he knew "the black Cleitus". He heard many rumors of Cleitus's anger and brutality even compare to other Macedonion soldier. A young man turned back and started to walk away followed his friends.

After Cleitus watched Philotas disappeared in to the building, Cleitus glanced back to a young boy who was still shaking.

"Are you afraid, boy" Cleitus said softly to a boy.

However, when a boy looked up to him it seemed clear that it was not fear in his eye but a fire of rage. Cleitus heart was now beating fast. He certain it was not because of a wrath he had toward Philotas action but because of a beautiful boy in front of him. Cleitus certainly never saw any boy in Macedonia as beautiful as this boy. It was not only a boy's face which made Cleitus forgot breathing, also these deep ocean blue eyes which looked directly at him. He doubted no great artist could portrait these perfect eyes and certainly only Zeus himself could paint such perfect beauty.

"Thank you, but you should let me finish this by myself"

Cleitus was still loss to boy's eyes and he didn't hear until the last words. He forced himself to stop wandering in those amazing blue eyes and looked down to the ground. He noticed some red marks on boy hands and arms which are certainly results of the early fight. It must be bruises which turned to green and purple soon. He tried to force himself smile softly at the boy and said

"I just cannot stop myself when it comes to this kind of act toward a boy"

"I'm not just a boy, I am a son of Macedonion man who can fight for my own dignity" a boy argued angrily. Cleitus stepped back a bit and it might caused a boy to realize his act was ungrateful and then just another blink, a boy drew guilty smiled directly at Clietus.

"Sorry for my bad manners, my name is Hephaiston, son of General Amyntor, thank you for your hospitality and I assures you that one day I'll find a way to return a favour to you"

Cleitus didn't know whether the sun ray set directly toward his face or because of this beautiful smile which caused his face to blush and heat.

A laugh from behind awoke Cleitus from his daydreams. He heard Ptelomy voice was babbling joke from behind and then he entered a dinning hall. Dinner had started with king Alexander and his other companion and General sitting around table. Wine and food was flow loosely. A loud noise of joke and a story of bravery soldier and Iliad hero surrounded a hall. Usually, Cleitus enjoyed dinning feast and wine and young boys serving him. But today, he could not stop thinking about a young man who should be here in the next two days. He looked at Alexander and Bagoas, King Darius's pet, stood next to the king ready for services. He hated Bagoas. He didn't hate Bagoas because he jealous of Alexander or because Bagoas was a Persian pet. He hated Bagoas because he knew Bagoas existance will bring great grief to a man who hold his heart. He had first hand experienced. He used to be one of King Phillip's lover before his king turned to younger pages. It drove him mad in pain and jealousy. But when time had past and he grew older and wiser, he realized ordinary man cannot own king's heart, he learned to live with it and showed his love as a loyalty soldier and a capable commander who would fight and die for his king. To heal his brokenheart, he turned to find a pleasure in young man until he met a boy who filled his heart.

After a quarrel between Hephaistion and young Philotas, he kept retuning to Meiza with only one intention, to see Hephaistion. He became battle tutor for young Hephaistion and enjoyed it every minute. The more he knew a boy, the stronger his love grew. Hephaistion was a talent and charming boy, he always knew how to use his brain rather than his arm or how to use his word rather than a sharp sword. A boy knew diplomacy; he knew when to please and when to push.

His love towards a boy seemed possible till the day he heard that Alexander had been taken a boy's heart. He was shocked and hurt. Why Dionysus cruelled to him. Why stroked his heart twice with the hands of his king, first King Philip and then King Philip's son. It was not that he didn't love or adore Alexander. He loved Alexander as his younger brother and royal to him as his king's son but when it came to a boy who holds his heart. He didn't want a boy who he loved dearly became a king's toy as himself. He knew the fate of a king's lover and he knew a boy, a boy's royal and passionate character was a great quality of heart to be ripped and destroyed by a king greatness. He didn't want his beloved boy to get hurt; one slight sadness in Hephaistion eyes would drive him into madness. He wanted to protect a boy's heart only if he knew how. If only he was the one who hold Hephaistion's heart not Alexander. He would cherish this love and protect it with his every breath.As he saw Alexander smiled and touched Bagoas hand while a eunuch filled up Alexander's goblet. His anger grew and he spoke out to a crowd.

"Drink for Hephaistion journey safe and sound from Sidon"

Alexander stopped touching a eunuch as soon as he heard Hephaistion's name and looked directly to Cleitus. He smiled to Cleitus and stood up to join his drink. Even though Cleitus didn't like Alexander for bedding a eunuch just a few month after Hephaistion left to his journey. "As father as son" he thought. Cleitus could not denied he greet to cease this opportunity to be the one who healed Hephaistion's brokenheart.


	2. Chapter 2

**Ch.2 Riding home**

_/Be prepared but never be ready, when it comes to his love for Alexander./_

The faster the horse ran directly toward the destination, the farther he wanted this journey to continue. Hephaistion was on his horse leading troops through desert routes from Sidon to Bactria. Part of his heart wanted to rush back to the arms of his lover, another part wanted this journey to go on forever. His body was exhausting from a week of long ride in the desert land and his heart was trembling from the rumours of his lover, Alexander.

He had heard that nowaday the great king Alexander has taken a eunuch Bagoas as his bed companion. He knew this day will come and always reminded himself to be prepared. However, no matter how much he tried, he would never be ready when it happens. His heart was weak, his mind was numb, even his tear was not running but his heart was breeding.

This was the first time in many years that he felt farther away from where he's belonging. The distance between them were only weeks of horse ride but he felt like a year in desert. He never felt so loss as this moment. How many times in this journey that he wanted to turn back to Meiza, the only place which he felt like home when he was not with Alexander. But how he could leave his heart and failed his duty to his king Alexander. Instead, he pulled his horse forward and rushed the troops to fasten their pace to Bactria.

After a long hard ride toward the sun, sand dust hurt his eyes and hot wind dried his mouth and skin, all that suffering seemed to be nothing compare to a minute he caught the first sight of Bactria city in front of him. The journey would end soon, in a few more hours he would have to face Alexander and it was the first time in his life that he afraid to see his king.

What he should do? Should he smile or sober in front of his king? Should he come to see him first as he always do every time they're apart or should he go to his place to hide for one more hour? He knew he need more time to think and to prepare himself to be ready for his king. His body is too exhausted to think clearly. What's a pity, he never felt like he had to be prepared to meet his king before, not until today.


	3. Chapter 3

**Ch.3 End of waiting**

_/My needs will only fulfil by you. /_

Two days passed slowly when they were days of waiting and longing for love. Cleitus could not keep himself sit still whenever he heard sound of horse race to the gate of chief's house, a place where Alexander, his General and companions had been invited to rest when they were staying in the city of Bactria. As much as he could not stop himself to walk toward window and staring to a new comer on the dusty road, He swore he saw his king, Alexander, also walked out and looked in the same direction. He forced himself not to laugh for what was in his mind, how two noble man of Macedonion, one general and one king could not control himself when it came to a man who hold their hearts, Hephaistion.

Finally, he saw troops of Marcedonion army riding toward the gate of the chief's house. A figure which he could remembered by his heart, a figure he always looked out in the battle field which always drove him mad to come closer, to protected those figure from the madness of confronting the enemy without fear of death. He knew, this young man would never been afraid of dying when he was fighting side by side with his lover, King Alexander. He looked through the afternoon light shrine on figure of Hephaistion who was riding gracefully on his horse toward his direction, he could not stop himself from smiling and fulfilling as those figures came closer to the house. He wanted to go down and welcomed a young man but he knew a routine, a young man always seeks for Alexander as soon as he got back. But this time, something had change, instead of walking directly to a king's chamber Hephaistion headed directly to his place in the general apartment. It did not take long before Cleitus decided to follow to a young man's room.

He entered a door and found a young man lying fatiguing in the bathtub. His back bend forward, his head dropped close to the water and his body was tense. Cleitus noticed a young man had loss weight and there were marks of sun on his naked skin. Cleitus came closer as quiet as he can, he afraid that a sound would frighten a beautiful figure in front of him and made them disappear. His heart wanted to pull a young man and kissed him forcefully to show how much he longing for him. But his hand just came forward and rubbed a young man gently at his neck. He felt a young man flinch on his first touch before he turned toward him. He could see disappointment in the eyes of Hephaistion. Spark light in a young man's eyes was disappeared when he turned face to face with Cleitus.

"Do you need anything, General Cleitus?" Hephaistion said softly and turned his back to him. He didn't want any companion right now. He just needed to take some rest and clear his mind before he had to face Alexander.

"I just come to welcome you and see if you need anything"

"Thank you for your generosity but I think I have everything I need, I will be finished in a minute if you don't mind."

"Yes. Please, be yourself. I didn't wish to trouble you" Cleitus stand up and walked to the table at the corner of a room and pour wine for himself while his eye look directly at Hephaistion's naked body.

Hephaistion didn't want to finish bathing so soon but he knew Cleitus would not leave him alone easily. Ever since he was a boy, he noticed Cleitus's eye following him around like a hawk and his constant attention toward Hephaistion was never change. He walked out of the bathtub naked and rushed to grab his robe to cover his body. It is not usual for Macedonion man to shy of naked body but he felt uncomfortable for having Cleitus staring at him. Before he finished his dress, he felt Cleitus hand grabbed his arms and spin him toward his face. There was a grin and heat in Cleitus look.

"Don't look at me as I am one of your boy, you know that I am not interesting"

"Yes. I know that you were not interesting because you had your king but now the king you love is no longer hold a special place for you, Hephaistion. Alexander has his new lover and you'll be nothing to him but his old toys. You know what I felt for you in all these years, Stop your puppy love and grow up, man, I can give you what Alexander could only imagine."

"Let go of me Cleitus. I am not Alexander's toy and certainly I'll never be your toy. Just leave me alone" Hephaistion snarled angrily to Cleitus and tried to walk away. But before he could go far, Cleitus grabbed a young man arms and pushed him toward a bed. He loss his balance and fell on the floor. His head was knocked and the next thing he knew he was dragged and threw down into his bed. Before he can push himself off, Cleitus body was on top of him and pinned him to a sheet. Cleitus face is an inch from his face. He can feel Cleitus breath tapping his eyes and nose. He could feel his heart and Cleitus's heart beating against each other. Cleitus's hip clushed against his hip. His body struggling to get loose from Cleitus strong hand but the harder he pushed the farther he was force down. His loose robe showing naked body fuel the heat in Cleitus eyes. He was totally pegged down on the bed before Cleitus kissed him fiercefully. Cleitus tongue was touching every inch in his mouth. His lips was swallowed by Cleitus lips and he felt Cleitus beard clushing on his skin. It is rough and base. He can sense every hot breath of demanding and hear Cleitus moaning and begging him for pleasure. His mind told him to push Cleitus away but his head was hurt and his body was paralyzed by Clietus force. Part of him needed to be touched and to be loved which he hardly felt for so long. Only if Cleitus was Alexander, this fierce action would sooth his torn-heart and made him felt love again. He always knew Cleitus feeling for him, he didn't want to hurt a man who was do nothing but nice to him since they first met. He understood feelings of loving someone who will never fully return his love. How easily his love would be if only he was in love with a simply soldier or General but not the king. Cleitus touch reminded him of how much he longing for his lover's touch. How much he wanted to feel love and secure in his lover arms. How much he wanted his lover to ensure him that nothing or no one can change love between them. He could no longer suppress his loneliness, insecure, torned-heart. His weakness controlled over him. His tear was dripping and his body was still. When he stopped struggling, he could feel Cleitus paused forcing him and looked in to his eyes. He felt Cleitus eyes look trough his frailty heart. He sensed a sort of comfort and understanding in Clietus look. Cleitus eyes were confused and hurt when he looked through his loss soul. Another kiss from Clietus was making Hephaistion totally loss again, loss in those deep and desire kiss. It was different from Alexander, his lover was more gentle and sweet. But this strong kiss was showing a real desire and lust. Would this be a time to return a favour as he promised.


	4. Chapter 4

**Ch.4 Wild banquet**

/_You are my strength and my weakness._

_Every happiness you hold is my joy, every pain you bear is my agony._

_Bear with me my love._

_I know you are strong enough to hold on this love as I'll always for you./_

The moon, dancers, music, feast and wine crowded the night in Bactria. Alexander sat amongst his generals and companions. His eyes looked at the crowded try to find his soul comforter, he knew Hephaistion had arrived but he stuck with Parminion and other generals arguing on his new plan to explore further east. He thought that Hephaistion would come to see him in the meeting so he continued and waited for his lover. However, everytime the door pushed open, he didn't see his friend come through. It is a long and agitated waiting but he continued patiently. After the meeting was over, Hephaistion still didn't come to see him so he rushed out to his lover's room but his page told Alexander that Hephaistion went out for a ride.

"What? Why he went out for a ride after a long trip he had from Sidon?"

A page nodded and informed that before Hephaistion left, he told a page he'll go for a ride and will come back for a banquet. Alexander felt disappointed and disturbed, he knew something wrong with his friend , Hephaistion always love to ride alone when he wanted to clear his mind or to think of something which bothering him. Then, he would come back, Hephaistion always came back (to him). So he was waiting, waiting and waiting. But until now, he could not see Hephaistion either in the crowd or joining him. It really made him nervous and angered to his lover. How long his lover going to torture him with this long waiting. It is ridiculous how Hephaistion made him feel angry and needy simultaneously.

Several times he forced himself to turn his attention joining conversation between his Generals, but mostly he thought he lost and said something irrelevant to their discussion until Ptelomy talked to him "Are you really listening to us, Alexander" He didn't argue with Ptelomy, he was staring to a crowd when he saw a familiar figure in a far opposite of his position. Hephaistion wore thick fur cloak and looked so lost and so beautiful as always. Amongst the crowd, his lover's grace look was more strinking and distinctive from the others. But today, something in his lover eyes had changed. Hephaistion looked like a deer walk in to a pack of wolfs. He seemed lost and he didn't try to look for Alexander as he used to. Instead he came to join Perdicass and talked with him steadily. His eyes were beautiful even in the distant, but today these beautiful eyes were not looking for Alexander. He noticed Hephaistion glanced at Bagoas who stood gracefully in his stylish white robe on the right of a circle not far from Alexander's seat. But still, Hephaistion didn't look at him, he simply turned back and looked at the dancer in the middle of a circle. Alexander bearly sat still, he wanted to walk to Hephaistion and punished his lover for his negligent. However, it was not a custom to leave his host in the middle of a feast. So he sat still, waiting and longing for his lover.

The tone of music had changed, a floor filled of dancers in the unique elegant dress. His eyes were enticed by the strange black round eyes looked directly at him. Her figures was slant and mysterious under the strange cloth and her mysterious eyes hidden by string of beads. Her acrobat dance and music drew his attention from his lover. He felt lust and desired from these black eyes. He heard his Persian General talked to him.

"She cares for you, Alexander. She is the daughter of Bactria's chief. One of the most beautiful girl around here and she have eyes on you."

Alexander didn't answer anything and before a dance end, he noticed some fighting where his lover stand, he saw Cleitus punching Hephaistion and Perdicass tried to stop Cleitus. His heart was beating hard, he wanted to go to Hephaistion, he promised to himself he would go to his friend right after this dance was over. However, before it ended, Hephaistion left the crowd and disappeared in to the buildings. Alexander hated himself, how many times he failed to his lover, failed to protect and failed to stand by Hephaistion as his lover always did for him. His hand was bound by king's duty and his heart was pinned by King's position.

Before the feast was over, he told Ptelomy for his early retired and walked directly to his lover room. Hephaistion room was dark and quiet. No light was shining from his room. His door closed and stood as a great wall preventing his lover from Alexander. He turned the knob and looked for Hephaistion in the dark. He saw a dim figure of Hephaistion lied on his bed. He felt silent biting his will to invade his lover solitude. Cold air in the room actuated his need to touch a warm body of his lover. He wanted to reach out to his lover but frighten that the figures lying in front of him would disappear from his sight again. The distant between him and his lover bed was only a few steps but he felt so far away when he could not see his lover eyes looking for him.

"Phai"

"Hephaistion, are you awake"

The body didn't move. It stilled for a moment but seemed as an hour in Alexander mind. Soon his lover turned toward him but still he could not see the beautiful blue eyes that he missed devoutly.

"What's happen Phai? Are you alright? You didn't come to see me. Don't you want to see me anymore my love? What happen between you and Cleitus, that punch?"

Hephaistion was silent. He didn't say anything and didn't look at Alexander in the eyes. He seemed to shy and try to hide away.

"What's happen my love? Why don't you look at me? Phai?"

"Alexander…. I don't know. Please…. I'm so loss..I don't know where I should stand next to you anymore my love. I failed to you, I ashamed for my jealousy and my weakness soul. I didn't deserve to be your Petroculous."

Alexander walked toward Hephaistion. He hold his lover face and looked in to his eyes.

"You have nothing to be ashamed of my love. You are the most beautiful thing in my life. Your place is always here in my heart. No one can take you away from me, no distant can separate your heart from mine."

They both looked into each other eyes and Alexander gently touched Hephaistion soft hair before he gave him a grin

"Are you really jealous of me, Hephaistion?" Alexander knew rumor of him bedding Bagoas would come to Hephaistion and he amused by his lover emotional on that subject.

"You know it is not my place to jealous of you, I am not your wife and will never be" Hephaistion bowed down escaping Alexander's eye.

Alexander laughed "Of course, you will never be my bloody wife, but you are everything to me, my love. You have every right to be jealous of me, because I'll feel the same if I heard you have a new boy around."

"It is not funny, Alexander. And I didn't like this feeling which almost torn me apart"

Alexander sat next to his lover and turn to look in to his lover eyes.

"No, my love. I'm sorry. It is not fun. It is me who love you more than anything and it is me who hurt because of your mistrust in our love. I never bed Eunuch Bagoas, Phai. How do you think less of me to bed a boy who passed from a former Persian king Darius."

Alexander eyes looked seriously before he went on. "However, he is quite a talent boy and help me through all these non-sense Persian custom and their court manner. Also, it is help to let other thought me interesting in young Persian boy so that they will acknowledge our way of accepting their life style and their people. It is our dream, Phai, to conquer the world but not as a conqueror but as a ruler who set these people free. Free to think, free to accept the new culture, knowledge, and wisdom as they choose. But first, we have to open their heart and made them accept me as their king, Phai. Don't blind yourself. Never I will touch a boy as I touched you and never I would let him touch me as you did to me, my love."

Hephaistion trembling, his greatest fear was over. His burden heart was lift and all he could do was kissing his lover deeply. Never in his life he will doubt Alexander's love again. Alexander is his king, his guidance and he will follow him to wherever his heart goes.

"You are everything to me my love, don't you know this by now? Phai?" Alexander giggling before he hold his lover head to look in to his lover eyes again. Beautiful blue eyes which he missed so badly.

"My Phai, your love is everything I need to conquer, your face is the only figures I always look for in my dream and anxious to see when I am awake. So please stop your stupid jealousy. It is me who should be jealous over you."

"Stop Bluffing me Alexander"

"Who said I bluffed you, Don't you know how many Macedonian men of mine are following you around like a pack of wolf waiting to take a chance whenever I slipped."

"What are you talking about, Alexander. I am not lambkin ready to be slaughter."

"Yes. But you are the most beautiful man who will be slaughter by the carnal Macedonian men. Many of my men hated me because I sent you away, Cleitus, Philotas,… sometimes I wondered they rather want me to go and leave you with them instead."

Before Hephaistion started his argument. Alexander kissed him, very deep, sweet and breathtaking kiss. He hold his lover tightly until they both hurt. He wanted his lover to know how much he missed him and wanted him. How much he missed his touch and this familiar sweet scent of his lover. How much he wanted to devour his lover and tasted every inch of this beautiful body. How his lover body lusted him and made him intoxicate in every touch. "I love you my love, I want you, I need you."

Hephaistion confusion had been fade away, Alexander always know him. There was nothing more to say between them. They understood each other completely. Alexander always know how to sooth his pain. Bond between them made them know how to fulfil each other desire. Hephaistion understood now, no matter what future and hardness awaited for him, and no matter man or woman came in to Alexander life, they would pass through as long as they had each other. They always knew how to sooth the other's pain and be strong when the other is weak. No matter how far and distant between them, they will always find their path together.

_/Never distant separates you from mine, you're always with me, in my mind, my heart, my dream, and my love/_


	5. Chapter 5

**Ch.5 The warning**

_/What good to be in the myth if you don't know you already in that myth./_

Cleitus hated himself. He hated himself for not taking what he always want when he had a chance. A young man was totally loss and incapable of defending himself. It was his opportunity to take but he stupid enough to let it pass.

Damn you, Hephaistion. Damn you beautiful eyes which looked at me as I was the one who hurt you badly. It was your king who hurt you and not me. When you would understand that you could not own king's heart. King's heart was bound to his duty and ambition. He would never be yours and he would never fully return your love completely.

Damned me, the black Cleitus, stupid enough to free a young man and left his room when he was totally under your demand. Stupid weakness of mine when he saw pain in Hephaistion's eyes and scared to go forward. Never in his warrior life, he afraid of moving forward to the enemy line. But just these look made him retreat like an amateur soldier. Coward damned me.

Now, he looked at his king, he hated him. Hated his king for being so blind and not conceive how much pain he caused to his poor Hephaistion. His beloved beautiful blue eyes were in agony again and again in the hand of his king. How foolish and selfish his king was for kissing bagoas in front of his army especially in front of Hephaistion. Did you not see the pain in the eyes of your love one? Did you not see the same pain when you married to barbarian girl Roxanne or when you ordered him to leave you for constructing a new town in the middle of nowhere. Even though Hephaistion was so blindly in love with you but he was not blind enough to not see these passionate kiss and these base desires which were not for him. How ignorant of you to underestimated his love for you and compensated him with more power and wealth rather than just simpler love and caring from you, Alexander. Did you know that much of the power you gave your lover, the more dangerous and killing plot was brought up against him. You risked your lover life for your base desire of lust and ambition. Why could you see that you didn't have to conquer the world to be happy or to be complete? The precious thing was right in front of you, the most simple valuable thing, one human loyal soul who you already conquered. How many life a man born to find one true love, you had it but you never see it.

Now, I hated you even more, my king. You ordered me to be a settrap of Bactria. Distant me so far from my home and from the one I love. I knew your black heart. You jealous of me being around your lover. You left him but you also didn't want me to have him, your precious little thing. You jealous of me constantly standing and protecting your lover where you never did. You, Alexander the great, scared to loose your precious little thing to me, Cleitus the black. You would pay for it, the great king, you would pay for your base desire of possess your lover. Without me, who will protect your little precious thing.

I warned you Alexander, my king, one last time as I promised to my king Phillip and to my beautiful blue eyes that I will always protect you. Woke up from your arrogant, ignorant and be content for what you already had.

"Never that your father take the barbarian as his friend"

"And know you kissed that Persian boy and take a barbarian childless wife and called our queen"

"Is we not good enough any longer, this army is your blood, boy"

I knew this was the end of me, and I knew I would never see my beautiful blue eyes again. But what price could be paid for loving thing which would I never had.

Even though I, the black Cleitus, was not die as a great general in the battle field defending my land and glory. But, I would gladly die to defend the one who I love devotedly, my beautiful blue eyes, Hephaistion.


	6. Chapter 6

**Ch.6 I am failed**

_/One second of murderous and madness, eternity of self-pithy and remorse./_

I killed him, with my own hand. I took his life as he was my hatred enemy. I punished my greatest general for his bravery to tell me the truth. To warn me of what was coming. To awake me from my drunken and lustful mind, and here I was, suffering for my own action and pity for my uncontrollable anger. I ashamed of what he saw in me and how much he understand me. I feared that now he would be laughing and pity for my weakness again.

I could not look into Hephaistion eyes and told him that it was not my fault. I was afraid to tell him that my blind jealousy and arrogant brought us to this fall. I knew he would never forgive me even though he said he would. I knew Cleitus would never have a place in my lover's heart as I did but he always the General and friend that gained my lover's respect and trust which was special enough for them both. I know Cleitus feeling's for my lover, and I jealous for his bravery and contentment to love and protect my lover in the way that I couldn't. Even though my lover never returned his love but he was still loyal to him as my lover loyal to me. It was not difficult to fall in love with you, Hephastion. You were the true beauty both in your heart and your soul. However, it must be hard to continue these un-return love. Every time I saw you were in pain by my action, I saw a madness and anger in Cleitus's eye. I knew he hated me, for my action that tortured you. I knew he always protected you.

Still, I was fool enough to separate him from you. I fool enough to jealous a small place you had him in your heart. I was now suffering for what I did. I failed to my great general and I failed to you, my love. Fail to protect you by my jealousy and madness. I afraid this failure would be the beginning of my downfall and led to more dangerous and death-fate to you, my love.

----End---


End file.
